Out of The Ashes
by danners3
Summary: Ronon is plagued by dreams that show the fall of Sateda and the loss of his woman, Melena and as they become more vivid he begins to realise that he needs to go back to Sateda.
1. Chapter 1 In a Dream She Came

Chapter 1 – In a Dream She Came

It was a scream that woke him, and the smell of smoke and he leapt out of the bed, reaching blindly for the weapon that was always kept within arms reach. He stood alone in the centre of his room, his eyes gradually adjusting to the dark, turning slowly in a semi circle with his weapon drawn. Gradually awareness came back to him, and the sound of the scream faded from his mind as did the smell of smoke. He had awoken this way, many times before and dropping down heavily onto the bed he tossed his weapon carelessly on the floor and rested his forehead in his hands. Sateda, it's fall to the wraith and the loss of the woman he loved – their memories burned forever on the walls of his mind.

The dream had been occurring with more regular frequency these past few weeks. It had been two years since Sateda had fallen to the wraith. Ronon had watched it destroyed, darts pursuing a relentless path through the sky, culling all humans in their wake and the wraith cruisers in the sky above the city, firing down energy weapons that destroyed all buildings and the remaining people, leaving the city a pile of smoking rubble, lost to him forever.

He had stayed to fight, alongside his woman, Melena and they had remained strong, scouring the burning remains for survivors and killing as many of the wraith foot soldiers as they were able. Until a dart had taken the woman he loved in front of his eyes and he had dropped to his knees, strong in that face of all that he had seen, but weakened now, by the loss of his woman.

That had been two years ago, a lifetime and he had vowed to avenge her death and destroy the enemy who had reduced his beloved Sateda to the pile of smoking rubble that now, haunted his dreams. He had joined the Atlantis team, needing to align his strength with the strongest power in that galaxy and he would fight until the wraith were no more.

And still he awoke in the night, the smell of smoke and the sounds of their screams. A life time ago...

He dropped back into sleep, but it was not kind to him and the dreams came again. This time there was a different intensity. The pictures were sharper and the colours more vivid and there was another difference. Sifting through the rubble, the smell of smoke tickling his nostrils, he saw her, from the back the woman who looked like the one he had watched taken to her death two years ago. He called her name, in his dream, and she turned. It was Melena, dressed in rags and filthy, but alive and sleep was suddenly no more.

The sudden awakening had him in the centre of the room, weapon drawn again, and this time he found no peace from awakening, this time he found resolve.

_She's alive_ he thought. He dressed quickly, holstering his weapon and leaving his quarters to stand outside the door of Colonel John Sheppard. There was no hesitation. He would have done the same for Sheppard in a heartbeat, and knocking sharply on the door of his quarters, he rested his head gently on his propped arm.

"Yeah... yeah...I'm coming." The sleep fuddled voice of Colonel John Sheppard got louder as he neared the door, and it opened showing the handsome, but slightly rumpled face of his friend, dark brown hair tousled from sleep, one hand rubbing briskly over his face as though to chase away the remnants of sleep, and Ronon heard the rasp of his hand as it moved over the growth of facial hair.

"Ronon? What time is it man? Our sparring match is not till morning... God, don't tell me it's morning already..." He peered a little blurrily at Ronon, turning to go back into his room, assuming that Ronon would follow and fill him in on why he was standing outside his door at this ungodly hour.

"Sheppard – I think she's alive!" Ronon began pacing around John's quarters, feeling the remnants of the dream pulling at him.

John groaned. "You're not talking about that damn character in the movie we watched last night – you do know that those movies are not real, just stories? We've talked about this Ronon..."

"Melena – I saw her, in my dream. The dreams have always been the same, up until tonight. Tonight's dream was different – she was in it, and she was alive. I need to go back, check... what if I left her there? Damn it John, I should have gone back..."

"Slow down Ronon... my brain takes a few minutes to kick into full power if it's woken up in the middle of the night. Melena? That's your girl, from Sateda? You told me she was taken by the wraith... you saw it happen..." John was sitting on the edge of his bed, sleep slowly withdrawing it's remnants from his mind, his thinking becoming clearer.

"I did see it happen Sheppard, and I went back, just after Sateda fell, there was nothing... no one. I haven't been back since. I figured there was no use, too many memories and too painful. Any survivors have been long since relocated. Damn it, if there's any sort of chance that she's alive...!"

"Calm down Ronon – there's nothing we can do right now – we'll take a jumper, go in the morning and take a good look around. I trust you Ronon – if you say you need to go back, then we'll do it. Ok?"

Ronon had stopped pacing briefly and he looked down at John, his face bleak. "It was so clear Sheppard, her face, her body... I tried to push her from my mind once I knew she was dead, tried to move on..."

John stood up now, clapping a hand on his friend's shoulder, he turned him gently towards the door. "Go back to bed Ronon, we'll leave after breakfast." With a grateful smile at John, Ronon left John to return to his sleep, which he did so promptly, but not without a sympathetic thought for his Satedan friend. Losing his woman like that, hell – his entire city like that, would have been enough to send most men insane. The Satedan was tough, a trait that John both admired and became frustrated with at times. It also meant that he was unbending and expected the same dedication and values in everyone else and was not especially tolerant of anyone who did not possess them. Sighing, he closed his eyes and wondered what the morning would bring.


	2. Chapter 2 The Ghosts of Sateda

Chapter 2 – The Ghosts of Sateda

John did not want to involve the rest of the team, so it was just himself and Ronon who met in the jumper bay early the next morning. Ronon's eyes were hooded and heavy and John could see that sleep had not been kind to him last night. He thought he had found closure and suddenly, that had become unzipped and through the parting he saw the possibility of another ending, and that sort of thing could easily eat away at a man.

"Let's do this Ronon." Ronon tapped the weapon at his side. He favoured the use of a unique energy weapon that could either be set to stun or kill, over the weapons used by other members of the Atlantis expedition. John carried his usual P90, with a Beretta strapped to his leg holster. Neither man went offworld without their favoured weapons.

The flight to Sateda was not a long one and was completed in silence, and John could feel the tension beginning to build and crackle ominously in the air. Ronon continually fingered his weapon, his eyes darting restlessly out the observation window, and John felt his "spidey senses" begin to kick into overdrive.

"Damn it Ronon, now you're beginning to make me nervous. Will you stop playing with your damn gun, or it's gonna go off... We're nearly there." John kept his concentration centred on the ship's controls so that he could interface comfortably, allowing the ship to begin reentry into the planet's atmosphere. Rather than land immediately, he opted for a fly by over the fallen city, which they did slowly, peering down into the ruined buildings, over which vines and other vegetation had begun to grow, looking for signs that there may be people alive and well down there.

"She looks like a fallen lady Sheppard. So strong once, damn it – it was home. How could they take that away from us in one strike? Why the hell did we not have the capability to fight back?"

Ronon shook his head, looking down at the devastation below them, no less powerful that it had been when he had fought in the thick of it, and could still in his mind, hear the screaming of the wraith darts as they tracked relentlessly overhead, their lethal beams disintegrating an entire race of people for the purpose of feeding a race whose continued presence in this galaxy was only serving to cull all living humans.

Having completed a slow and thorough fly by, John took the jumper down, setting it in a small field just outside the city limits. He did not cloak the jumper as he would have normally. They had seen no sign of life, and even if there had been, it took someone with the ATA gene to fly any of the Lantian ships, and the people of Sateda did not possess that gene. His ship wasn't going anywhere without him.

"Let's do this Ronon. If by some miracle, she's here – we'll find her and anyone else that could still be trying to survive in these ruins. We'll search the city quadrant by quadrant, look for any signs that people are trying to exist here – then span out our search to the surrounding countryside. They may have taken refuge in the outlying areas, afraid that the wraith might return and target the city area again. Let's move out..."

Resolve now etched on Ronon's features, he fingered his energy weapon again, and John could see just how tightly strung his friend had become. "Hey ease up on that trigger big guy... you're either gonna shoot your foot off, or shoot me in a somewhat inappropriate region of my anatomy... Hope it's set for stun Ronon?" Ronon's answer was unintelligible, John however, did see his fiddle briefly with a switch and assumed that he had changed the setting. It was one thing to go in prepared, and with John's military training, this was most definitely his motto – another thing to go in with guns blazing, especially into the unknown.

Entering the city limits was like stepping into a ghost town. Charred and blackened ruins marked the landscape, buildings that had once stood tall and magestic, now reduced to crumbling rubble and an entire race of people, apart from the handful of survivors who had managed to avoid the culling, were no longer. John and Ronon both felt the weight of loss as they moved purposefully through the ruins, Ronon's weapon now drawn and at the ready

"How much salvage has been done since the fall, Ronon? There must be books, artifacts, other items that can map the history of your people... has anyone been back to try and piece things together?"

"So few of us survived Sheppard... when we came back to look for survivors, we couldn't bear to look beyond the fact that our entire population had gone. I imagine others have come since, looters, thieves, those seeking easy pickings... I couldn't bring myself to return, not after the first time."

John had entered the crumbled wall of a building as they spoke, Ronon following him, casting glances behind. "Can you sense the ghosts here Sheppard? We should have brought Teyla..."

"In hindsight, we should have brought Rodney also – the more I think about the lost belongings, history of your people... I think we need to do something. Rodney would have known what to look for, what items to take to recreate the past."

Not getting a response from Ronon, John turned back and saw him squatting in front of some broken furniture, now covered in the dust from both time, and crushed masonry. He was holding up a small child's doll, battered, filthy and missing an arm and the look of sadness in his friend's eyes had John laying a hand on his shoulder and squeezing. "That's what I mean Ronon – yes, it's sad, tragic, but it tells a story about your people and while it may have been too raw and too painful to look at these items earlier, you need to do this for your people, to allow them to live on. This is their legacy."

Ronon looked at the doll and swore he could feel a light energy signature coming off it and shivered slightly. There were ghosts here, very real and carrying the memories of his race. He would not turn his back on them again. John was right, they had a story to tell and he needed to listen.


	3. Chapter 3 Survivors of the Apocolypse

Chapter 3 – Survivors of the Apocolypse

They continued searching through the ruins, looking for signs that people had been through here recently. Ronon found more and more reminders, personal effects, items that if not collected, would be lost forever. Small pieces of jewellery buried in the dirt, held precious by someone, that person likely long since dead. He kept these, dusting them off carefully and wrapping them in a handerchief. He would make it right for their memories.

A sound distracted them from their foraging and searching. They had made their way carefully through at least six buildings, pulling down larger sheets of wood and moving aside pieces of rubble to see what was underneath. At times they found remains of human bodies and Ronon made another promise. He would come back and give these people a decent burial. They deserved no less.

"What was that Sheppard?" Ronon had his gun at the ready, quickly tucking the handerchief with the jewellery inside one of his pockets. "Did you hear that?"

John was alert also. "Came from over there..." he pointed his gun towards a building that stood across the street, and he manoevered himself now, so that he was tucked in closer to the wall, giving Ronon a hard look before he moved his head out around the corner to look across the broken street. Ronon nodded once, then went past John, stealthily creeping from the corner of the building they were now in, running lightly across the street and pulling up sharply against the wall of the building opposite. John waited a few moments to see if Ronon's movements attracted any attention, and heard the sound again, louder this time and it was accompanied by the sound of running footsteps.

"Ronon! They're getting away – to your left – go!" John whispered loudly, then took off after Ronon, veering off and heading around the other side of the building to cut off whoever was on the run from them.

A small figure, dressed in ragged clothing, ran headlong into John as he rounded the corner, and he automatically put out his hands to stop the momentum, and encountered a soft body that was most definitely not a man. He gripped her upper arms tightly and she kicked out at him, causing him to swear loudly.

"Let me go. Now!" Struggling furiously, she kicked out again, and this time he dropped her arms and was rewarded with a swinging fist that cracked him hard on the jaw, causing his to cry out in pain.

"Jesus! Ronon, get over here... this one is a damned fighter!"

The woman broke loose from his grip and took off across the street, her feet light and running easily and Ronon after pausing briefly by John, took off in quick pursuit. His longer legs easily ate up the distance and he was upon her in seconds, grabbing her roughly around the waist and bringing her down on the ground, landing heavily on top on her.

"Get off me, or you'll get more than you bargained for. I'm warning you..." She twisted and fought, and understanding by her voice that it was a woman, he rolled slightly to take his weight off her, pinning her hands above her head to secure her, and carefully staying out of the way of her rather lethal knee, which was getting ready to come up and connect with a rather delicate part of his anatomy.

"Calm down woman! I'm not going to hurt you. Tell me your name and what you are doing here!"

He looked down into the dirty face with the long tangled hair that hung across it, obscuring most of her features, and in that one second, she opened her eyes and made contact with his and he started in shock.

"Melena? Damn it, is that you Melena?" He rolled off her now, reached out and moving the tangled hair from her face and rubbing some of the dirt from her cheeks. "Melena? You're alive? How?"

He sat back a little, one hand still holding the two of hers above her head, and just looked down at her as he waited for recognition to dawn in her eyes. They remained bright and angry, but she did not appear to recognise him, and gently he pulled her up so that she was sitting.

"How do you know my name? Who are you?" Angrily she pulled her hands out of his and peered through her hair at him. John had arrived by this time and stood looking down at them.

"Ronon? This is your Melena?" He looked quizzically between the two of them, noting the shock on Ronon's face and the lack of recognition in Melena's. Ronon stood, reaching down to take her hand before she could pull it away again and dragged her up so that she was standing, close to him so that he could feel her body heat.

"Melena... how can you not remember me? We fought together for Sateda, we pledged our life together. There has never been another for me..." She raised her eyes, bright and clear in her dirty face and flickered them over his face, looking for signs of a man that she once had known. "Ronon... I know that name..."

"Melena! You know me..." She continued looking up at him and her other hand lifted to touch his face, and he leaned into the contact, his breath hitching as he felt the familiar touch.

"I don't remember you... I know the name ...Ronon... it is a whisper in my memory, but your face? Our being together? I do not remember... so much has happened, there is so much that is still a blur for me..."

He kept her close and flicked a glance at John. In a quiet voice, John spoke to Ronon, needing to get his attention. "We need to take her back to Atlantis Ronon, get her checked out. She's had some sort of head trauma I think, we need Carson to look her over and see what sort of damage has been done."

Ronon hung his head slightly, looking down at the familiar face of the woman he had loved for so long. "I'll take you home Melena, home to Atlantis..."

Her movements became agitated now. "This is my home Ronon, the only thing that I can really remember. I can't leave here … my memories are tied up here. I need to remember..."

"I'll not leave you again... Let me take you to Atlantis, we have a doctor there who can help you, bring back some of your lost memories. Then we can come back here to Sateda, and start to make it right again."

She stood looking at him, her lovely eyes locked with his and he thought he saw a glimmer of recognition, then it was gone suddenly, as they heard a small voice calling... "Mummy... ?"

John and Ronon both turned and Melena struggled to leave Ronon's arms, running towards a little girl with long hair who stood on the side of the road looking at them. "Mummy?"

"I'm here sweetheart, Mummy's here..."

Ronon's gaze froze as he took in the familiar eyes, the shape of the face, like Melena's and like... his.


	4. Chapter 4 Life Rises from the Ashes

Chapter 4 – Life Rises from the Ashes

"Ronon... you didn't tell me you had a kid..." John was staring in shock at the little girl who could only belong to one man. He hunkered down in front of her, looking into the eyes that stared back at him with Ronon's somber expression.

"Hey sweetheart... what's your name?" Melena moved so that she stood behind the little girl, hands resting firmly on her shoulders. Ronon still appeared to be in shock, running a hand through his hair and staring at the two females... his two females.

"Annie..." Solemn brown eyes looked into his, then flicked upwards toward her mother, who was now gazing at Ronon. "Mummy, who are they?"

"I think they are friends Annie, I don't think they wish to hurt us." She kept her hands firmly on Annie's shoulder's, her face still looking curiously at Ronon, as though trying to memorise his features. It was John who spoke to the little girl.

"Annie, we would like to take you and your Mummy back to the city where we live. We can give you proper food and clothes, and will find you some nice toys to play with. Would you like that?" John was fascinated with the little girl, and looking up at Ronon, saw that he could not take his eyes off her, staring at her searchingly as though her tiny face held the answers that he had been seeking.

"My daughter Melena? You gave birth to our child? And I never knew?" Angry now, he turned, walking fast away from them, back towards the jumper and again it was John who was left to deal with the mother and daughter.

"He's in shock Melena... he thought you had been killed by the wraith, or he would never have left Sateda – he has mourned you these past two years and a half. And now he comes back to find that you are alive, and he has a daughter whom he has never met. That's a lot for a man to take in... and while I understand that you are having some memory loss and don't remember him or the time you spent together, I have spent this lost time with him and know that he is like a man who has had his soul cut out. I think the three of you are going to have a lot to sort out."

John held out his hand to the little girl and shyly she took it, looking up at her mummy for approval.

John smiled down at her, thinking that she couldn't have been more than two years old and spoke as though older, and offering his arm to Melena to take, he guided them both across the street and followed in the direction that Ronon had taken, knowing that there would be a lot of healing that needed to be done.

John slowed his footsteps as they neared the jumper. Ronon was standing near the cargo hold resting his forehead against the metal side of the ship. John's heart went out to him, but he hardened it slightly – he did not intend to let him wallow in self pity. He had found her again, and had the additional bonus of a daughter and that was something to be thankful for and cherish.

"Ronon? You ready to go? Want to get these lovely ladies settled into the jumper?" Annie stared fascinated at Ronon, and taking her hand from John's exhibiting all the confidence of any other human toddler, she moved over to him, craning her little head up so that she could look up at him. John fought to smother a grin. She was adorable, all huge eyes and tangled hair, tiny little girl next to her giant father and her hand reached out to grasp the leg of his pants to shake it slightly as if to get his attention. He looked down at her, face softening just a little and her arms reached up then, her little face alight.

"Up?" Ronon looked at John, frowning and John did not even bother to hide his grin.

"Pick her up Ronon... she wants you to carry her..."

Ronon's face cleared and he reached down, and carefully picked her up bringing her close against his massive chest so that she could look him in the eye. Father and daughter gazed at each other through identical eyes, identical frowns on their faces and Melena, still near John's side turned to him now.

"Ronon... he's her father, isn't he? I looked for her father... all these months since her birth. Ronon, I remember his name. Why can't I remember the man?"

John gave her a gentle push towards him. "He needs you right now Melena... go to him."

She stood uncertainly at first, looking back at John, then toward Ronon and her daughter, now happily resting her head against his shoulder. Ronon's head had dropped gently against her own and John thought that he had never seen a more contented look on the big man's face. Melena held out a hand, needing Ronon to bridge the gap, and he did, moving quickly so that he was in front of her and folded her into his arms, so that her head rested alongside her daughter's.

"We'll find your memories my love and if we can't, I still have enough love for the both of us, and we'll create some new ones. Let's go back to Atlantis, I have so much to tell you, to show you and you'll tell me all about this young lady here..."


	5. Chapter 5 Too Much Too Soon?

Chapter 5 – Too Much Too Soon?

They landed in Atlantis, John shutting down the engines in the jumper bay and casting an amused glance at the big man who sat in his seat beside him. Perched on his lap, excitement lighting her tiny face, sat Annie and John noted with wry amusement, his large hands were placed protectively around her body to stop her from bouncing around. She was a very enthusiastic child, as was normal for her age and this had obviously been her first flight in a ship. Her excitement had been contagious, even for those more seasoned pilots such as himself.

_Through the eyes of the child..._ thought John with just a touch of irony.

Melena hung back just a little. She had spent part of the trip standing hear Ronon's chair, then had seated herself in the one behind, near enough to Annie for her own peace of mind, but not too close that the feelings Ronon's nearness caused, clouded her judgement. Right now, she needed to try and keep a clear head. Her hazy memories, while she had come to accept them since Sateda had fallen, were now putting her at a serious disadvantage. She had 'lost' an entire portion of her life prior to her abduction by the wraith and now, with proof of this man in front of her, she longed desperately to get it back. And hoped that the doctor in Atlantis, would be the one to do this for her.

Ronon turned now, and securing Annie on his hip, rising to face Melena, who still sat in her seat. "Welcome to Atlantis Melena. I have made my home here, since Sateda fell... and I have aligned myself with these warriors to fight the wraith. They have technology, weapons, machines that, if we had had these when the wraith came, perhaps the outcome would have been different."

She looked up at him, taking in the features that seemed just a little familiar, yet the face of a stranger, all at once. And sighed. Life had never been easy for her, and it was not about to change now. He put out a hand to offer her, and she slid her hand into his, even if she did not remember this man, she needed his touch now as reassurance.

Elizabeth was waiting for them as they exited the jumper. Her eyebrow quirked just a little as she saw Ronon carrying the little girl, looking to John for introductions and an explanation.

"Dr Elizabeth Weir, meet Melena and her daughter... their daughter... Annie. And we have a small problem. Melena appears to have lost part of her memory and does not recall much of her life prior to her capture by the wraith."

"Oh..." Elizabeth, usually more eloquent than that, opened and shut her mouth, unsure what to say.

"They'll be staying with me..." Ronon's hooded gaze was on Elizabeth but he did see the look of unease that crossed Melena's face, Elizabeth seeing this also, interjected.

"Are you sure that's such a good idea Ronon? If she's lost part of her memory, and you are the part that she is having difficulty remembering, perhaps you should take things a little slower..."

Melena's gaze slid to Elizabeth and the woman noted the relief in her eyes. She had been right. Melena needed the time to sort things out and get medical treatment first without Ronon throwing too much at her at once.

"Melena?" He was looking at her now in question, leaving the decision up to her and she smiled up at him, wanting to reassure him, knowing that he only had her welfare at heart.

"Your Dr Weir is right Ronon. It would be best to keep things slow for now... please?"

Ronon's face began to darken and it was John who stepped up to him and clapped a hand to his shoulder. "Ronon, you know it's for the best, for now. Why don't you take them down to the infirmary. I've already radioed Carson and warned him. First things first man, get them comfortable here, you don't wanna spook her..."

Ronon nodded at him, noting that Annie had been attempting to follow their conversation with intelligent little eyes. He wondered how much she understood, and what her life had been like. Looking at the rags she was dressed in, it must have been hard, and he felt that regret like a punch to the stomach. If only he had found them sooner. The fault lay on his shoulders..._ direct the anger at yourself my friend... she is blameless in all of this. You are the one that left HER! What would she have done otherwise..._

Ronon tried to look at the city through her eyes, as he had once looked at it himself the first time he had arrived. It truly was magnificent – from the outside, tall spired buildings that lit up like a twinkling beacon at night, reflecting on the darkened waters. Inside it was all shades of gold and warm colours, built with technology that for his people, was all but inconceivable. He held her hand as they walked through the hallways, Annie still resting securely in this arms, her head now on his shoulder and flicking a glance down at her, saw that her eyelashes were lowered and she would soon he asleep. Protectiveness such as he had never felt before, rose to the surface and he dropped a kiss onto her tangled hair, catching Melena's eye as he did so. He saw the expression in her eyes, unguarded, and knew that even should her memory not return, it would only be a matter of time. The heat was still there. Time had not taken that.

Carson was waiting for them in the infirmary, the kindly scotsman choosing wisely not to ask any awkward questions.

"Ronon, bring the lass over here and lay her down on the bed... there sweetheart... how are you? You're a gorgeous wee thing, aren't you?" Ronon lay Annie down on one of the beds and her eyes had fluttered back open, and she gripped him in alarm before he could release her.

"Shhh sweetheart. This is Doctor Beckett, he just wants to take a little look at you.. he won't hurt you Annie, you have my word on that."

Carson had found a doll that he kept in a box of toys in the corner. Some of the Athosian children still came to the infirmary for the occasional checkup and he like to be prepared. Children did not always feel comfortable around doctors, that was a given in any galaxy. He held the doll out to Annie and watched as her beautiful eyes lit up and he placed the doll in her arms. She looked to her mother for approval first, and seeing the nod from Melena, she hugged the doll fiercely to her own body.

_And so childhood goes before it should... we take so much for granted on earth... so much..._ Carson could not help feel the deep compassion for a childhood no doubt lost before it's time and reaching behind him he pulled out his jar of lollipops that he also kept for the same occasion... and for some of the adults who did not like to get their shots!

Carson noted that Melena now stood close to Ronon and saw the love that shone out of his eyes as he looked down at her. His hand reached out and snaked around her waist, pulling her close, and Carson saw that she did not resist and hoped that her memory would return soon.

"Now sweetheart... let's have a little look at you..." he returned his attention to the child and was able to give her a full work up without the use of needles of any sort. She had suffered a little nutritionally and understood that good food would have been in short supply had they been foraging in the ruins and living alone in the forest. He turned to Melena now.

"Why did you not leave Melena? Try to get to another world where there would have been more food, and when Annie was born – were you alone?" He saw the same questions were in Ronon's eyes too and saw the look of gratitude the big man shot his way. Questions that he wanted to ask himself, but did not have the courage.

"Tell us what you remember Melena, perhaps that will help sort out some of the missing information..." Wanting to give her a thorough check up next, he ushered her over to the other bed, noting that Annie now held the doll a little more loosely in her arms, and that she had fallen asleep.

Getting her settled on the bed, he continued talking to her, while performing some of the basic tests he needed to do. "Tell us from the beginning Melena..."

She closed her eyes, a little uncomfortable with the tests and wanting to get her thoughts in order before she spoke them aloud.

"I remember the wraith taking me in one of their darts, that is my first memory, then my next memory is waking up in a field on Sateda, I felt bruised and hurt and my head ached and there was another beside me, an old woman. She did not remember very much either, we knew that we had been taken by the wraith..."

Carson muttered to Ronon, who had crept closer "the beaming technology on the dart malfuncted?" Ronon just gave him a hooded look before returning his attention to Melena.

"I knew that Sateda had fallen, knew that we were hurt so the old woman and myself, we found shelter in the woods, building an abode of sorts to keep out the rain and the cold, then we entered the city to find supplies. It was gone, all gone and so were the people..."

Her breath hitched and Ronon was beside her, placing a calming hand on her arm.

"We walked through the whole city, found some food, some supplies then we heard the darts coming back and we ran, back to our shelter. After that, we only came out when it was dark. We saw no others. I discovered I was pregnant not long after and the old woman and I, we were a family after that... she helped me birth Annie, and we were a family, the only family that I remembered. When she died, it was as though my mother had died. I buried her, near where others had been buried and said a blessing over her – then we were alone, Annie and I... all that time. Sometimes we would hear the darts, and sometimes others came, but I was afraid, always afraid. I did not know who to trust. Some of the others who came, they had guns, and once they almost caught me, hunted me down like an animal and tried to... do things... to me."

Ronon's hand clenched in anger and he hissed a breath.

"But I got away and hid... after that, I trusted no one...then you came and knew me and showed kindness and now I am confused and need so much to remember..." The tears came now, and Carson, finished with his tests, gave Ronon a nod. The big man took the woman in his arms, gently and lifted her so that he held her close and let her cry. And told himself that he would give her back what she had lost.


	6. Chapter 6 Breaking Down the Barriers

Chapter 6 – Breaking Down The Barriers

He did not sleep well. They were different dreams that haunted him this time. He did not see the burning buildings, the fires, the fall of his city, instead he saw the haunting eyes of his woman, the woman he would cross the galaxy to find, the woman he would take a bullet for. He tossed restlessly, thinking that all should be well – he had found her, and brought her to safety. But at what cost to her? At what cost to himself? His feelings for her were unchanged, if anything he burned harder and brighter, just for a touch, but it ripped out his heart to know that she did not remember that touch... did not yet burn the same way he did._ Patience, my friend, patience. Give her time,make her fall in love with you again. You did it once Ronon, you can do it again._

He arose early, unable to complete the night of sleep and restless, paced the hallways of Atlantis, eventually breaking into a jog and finally running, running as though the demons that haunted him could be chased away through the relentless pounding of his feet through the hallways. Then collapsing exhausted on the entrance to the south pier, the breeze from the ocean playing over his face as he lay there, looking up at the stars that looked down at him but said nothing.

John found him out here just as dawn was breaking and the hint of a rising sun could be seen peeking suggestively over the horizon. John yawned loudly, cracking his jaw and smiling at the vista that spread out before them. "Ah, sunrise on Atlantis – tis a beautiful sight, is it not, Ronon? I won't ask you how you slept – it's written all over you like a damn curse... woman eh? Can't live with them, but by God, we have trouble living without them."

Ronon's reply was a non commital grunt and he pushed himself up off the pier, huffing out an experimental breath. "Coffee Sheppard, and lot's of it. That'll get me through this day, and maybe tonight... well let's just say, I need some release."

John clapped him on the back, turning to walk with him back into the city and breakfast. He stopped first at the quarters that had been assigned to Melena and Annie and finding them dressed for the day, asked if he could escort them down to breakfast. Annie stood looking up at him with big somber eyes and when he asked her if she had slept well, she smiled a beautiful smile and held up the doll that Carson had let her keep and told Ronon in a mixture of english and kidspeak, that she had indeed slept well as had dolly. He lifted her up then, riding her high on his shoulders and laughed when he heard her excited shrieks. And the look in Melena's eyes was nearly his undoing. God, he wanted her. Now.

The coffee was strong and hot and went a lot way to fortifying him for the morning. Several cups of it in fact. Not to mention the extremely large plate of food piled high with all his favourite breakfast things. Melena laughed at the stack, amazed at the amount of food that was set out buffet style,choosing carefully the things she would most like to try, two years of living from scraps and plants in the forest having taken it's toll. He brought Annie a large glass of milk, recalled Carson's comment about probable poor nutrition, wanting to make up for all the things that they had missed since he had been out of their lives. And laughed at her when she screwed her face up after tasting it, insisting that the whole glass be drunken if she wanted to grow big and strong like Ronon.

Watching her eyes light up when he pulled out a chocolate bar from his pocket, brought back from earth with one of the supply runs, and snuck it across the table to her, putting a finger over his lips to let her know it was a secret...

And feeling Melena's hand reach down and grasp his own, needing the contact without knowing why, and looking at him with the beginnings of love and the stirring of need and he felt right then and there he would explode. From feelings, from love, from need.

He spent the day showing her around, just talking, sometimes touching and when Teyla offered to look after Annie for the evening so that Ronon and Melena could spend the evening together, alone, his eyes flew to hers, awaiting the permission to do this, wanting more than anything, to do this. At her nod, his heart fluttered and he thought about the evening to come. He intended to end it in the arms of his woman.

He decided to take her back to Sateda, through the stargate for a picnic. Yes, it held some bad memories for her, struggling to survive these past two years, but somewhere, buried deep inside her, it held the memories of the love that they had shared, and he intended to take her back to the house where there had been mainly love, and just a little anger – and always, always resolved before the sun rose the next morning. He doubted that there would be much left of the house, but with a nice blanket and an even nicer picnic,perhaps a little magic could unfold that night.

He asked for Teyla's assistance, and together they arranged a picnic worthy of this night, including two bottles of Ruus wine, a specialty amongst Teyla's people, full bodied and very strong and it was perhaps this courage that he would need a little of tonight.

Annie and Teyla waved them off, Anne just a little nervous about spending an evening without her mother, but she had been introduced to dvd's that day, and the magic of earth cartoons would prove to be too much of a distraction for any two year old.

As they stepped through the stargate, he immediately grasped her hand, knowing there would be that first unpleasant shock – hell, he knew it was for him. He felt her breath hitch and knew that it was now a stronger reaction, now able to compare this poor destroyed city, ruined at the hands of the wraith with Atlantis and her magestic towers and obvious wealth.

"We'll bring her back Melena. It can be done, with time... we can bring her back to what she was before. There'll be no magic wand, but a lot of hard work and time, and that I can promise you, I will pledge in abundance to make this happen."

Melena looked at him, almost unable to drag her eyes from the wreckage before her. "I know that you will Ronon, there is conviction in your voice, in your actions and it will make my heart smile to bring our home back to life again." She gently rested her hand on his arm. "Where was our house Ronon... take me there..."

He did, and stopped as they neared it, mixed emotions warring for first place in his battered heart. It was barely recognisable. Walls were no longer standing, walls that he had built – for her! - with his bare hands, and memories, hot and painful came flooding back. He had to take deep breaths, and sensing the turmoil inside him, Melena reached up a hand to stroke his face, and he leaned into her touch gratefully.

"This is where we lived Ronon? I can see it must have been beautiful..." she left him them, to walk through the shattered doorway and stand in the middle of the great room, looking at broken furniture, made by his own hands, dishes, utensils, personal effects. Her eye was drawn to a small statue of a carved animal, lying half hidden amongst the rubble, and crossing the room, she bent to pick it up. Carefully dusting the dirt away from it, she felt the stirrings of memory, a glimmer of a man seated in a chair, head bent over this statue as he painstakingly carved it, night after night, until it was complete and he could present it to her as a gift. Her eyes flew to his, and she saw the same memory there and looking back down at the statue she held it close to her heart and closed her eyes. In her mind's eye she saw the love that shone from the man in the chair, at the way he carefully put down the statue, rising now to come to her, where she stood stirring a pot over a stove on the other side of the room. Felt his arms go around her, firm and strong and pull her gently back against him, soft against hard so that she could feel his need. She saw the woman at the stove tip her head back slightly to rest against his chest and saw the pattern of his hands as they moved upwards to circle enticingly around her breasts.

Her eyes flew back to Ronon's. His memories still mirroring hers and she dropped the statue as he moved then, to wrap his arms around her, mirroring the actions of the man and woman in her memory. She felt the ache in her breasts as his hands languished there, then felt the hot trail of his mouth as it dropped down to run a line of kisses along her neck.

"Ronon..."

"I'm here sweetheart..."

"I saw her, me... I saw us – we were happy, weren't we... the two of us?"

He chuckled, his hands till busy and he heard her soft moan as he found the place that had always come alive for him.

"We were happy Melena, and we will be happy again, that I can promise you."

He pulled away then, reaching for the blanket to spread it down on the ground, in the very room where they had made love, many, many times and she felt oddly bereft at the loss of his touch. Seating himself down on the blanket, he reached up a hand to pull her down beside him, and framing her face in his hands he murmured "and we'll begin by making some new memories, right now..." and pushing her down lightly onto the blanket he reached under her simple skirt to run his hand enticingly up her thigh, loving the sound of her soft cries as he found the places she most liked to be touched. And adding his own sounds as her hands became busy also, a small part of her memory able to find the places where she could touch her man and bring him to his knees.


End file.
